An unwise choice. How I approached perfection behind the wheel of a Mercedes CL500

Tell me honestly, can you resist the fact that in a CL500 you automatically become the center of the universe? Some look with interest, others with outright curiosity. But the funniest thing is that ladies shoot glances at you like crazy, and the pace of this "shooting" reaches about 900 "shots" per minute. So, even if your smile is far from Hollywood, and your speech stumbles over words, this car can easily turn you into a local heartthrob. At least in your own eyes. You may not be a prince, but now you have a faithful steed.

And that's not surprising, because the CL500 I'm testing today is not just another expensive "Merc" and certainly not a giant off-road monster. It's a car for those who appreciate beauty, even if it's wrapped in the most common of luxury brands — Mercedes. Light, clean lines, elegant stance, seductive shapes — yet the look exudes hidden strength and seriousness. Like its owner, even if he's, say, a famous comedian. After all, shelling out 218 thousand dollars for a car (which is exactly what the test CL500 costs) is in itself a move that requires a serious approach.

For those who can afford such an expensive toy, this luxurious coupe will not only boost their status but also noticeably improve their mood. Approaching the car with the key in hand (though you don't even need to take it out — just keep it in your pocket), you can't help but smile. You run your palm over the muscular polished flanks, open the massive door. Then you sink into the cabin, take in all this splendor, and catch yourself thinking: is this really all mine? No, Vlad, they just let you take it for a spin.

While I slowly drifted through the endless Moscow traffic jams behind the wheel of the CL500, I was warmed by the thought that the most expensive, most luxurious, and best car on the road is mine! All those limousines, SUVs, BMWs, Audis, and other Mercedes — just mass-market junk! Except maybe the occasional Bentley... Though it's comforting that there aren't many new CLs in Moscow, unlike those Bentleys.

The creators of the CL decided not to reinvent the interior from scratch but simply borrowed it from the S-Class. Which, in fact, only did it good — it's perfect. Talking about quality here is redundant: I spent about ten minutes trying to find even a piece of plastic in the cabin but never did. The dashboard, door panels, center console — all covered in leather. The headliner along with the sun visors — suede. The buttons are made of milled aluminum. Cool? No, it's just that it couldn't have been any other way.

Switching from an ordinary, albeit decent, car to a CL500 is like swapping worn-out jeans for an impeccable suit. You immediately feel like a different person, and the attitude of those around you changes. But at first, it's a bit unsettling — you need time to get used to it.

The cabin has everything you could possibly imagine. A gorgeous Harman Kardon audio system that can please even a discerning audiophile, a bunch of multimedia entertainment, seats with ventilation, adjustable side bolsters, and electronic adjustments for everything imaginable (even headrests), heated steering wheel, night vision camera... Should I continue this endless list, or have I already tired you out? The list of options rivals "War and Peace" in volume, and you can fiddle with all these functions for hours! Which, by the way, is a great escape in Moscow traffic jams: while you adjust the seat across all 11 positions, you've already reached home.

The CL500 has many options that would be excessive in lower-class cars, but here they are taken for granted. And how pleasant it is to realize that you have all these luxuries! Every detail of the car literally radiates quality and thoughtfulness — you can see that the engineers perfected absolutely everything, whether it's behavior on the track at speeds near 250 km/h or the little lid covering the built-in phone keypad. However, perfection is unattainable, so the CL500 also has its flaws. But more on those later.

Of course, the 5.5-liter V8 is good, especially considering this engine is the "base" one. If you really floor the gas pedal, unleashing all 388 "horses," the car will surge forward powerfully with a roar from the exhaust. Though, with such power at the wheels, you need to be careful. If you overdo it, the rear axle immediately loses traction and tends to slide into a drift. Of course, the stability control system won't allow that, but there's little pleasure in such nervous driving. On the other hand, you can turn off the electronics, but then driving becomes scary. In a drift, the CL500 handles excellently, but messing around like that in a car worth 218 thousand dollars just doesn't appeal. I'm a strange person, aren't I?

No, I'd rather drive fast but calmly, without testing the tires' grip on the road. And I won't make any sharp maneuvers — it's a Mercedes, after all! But in "cruising" modes, you get true pleasure — the car not only responds perfectly to the steering wheel but is also very comfortable.

The seven-speed automatic 7G-Tronic, already familiar from other models, is just as refined here — it shifts gears on time and absolutely without jerks. Despite the 19-inch wheels from the AMG package, shod with some thin rubber film that the manufacturer for some reason calls tires, the car doesn't turn into a vibration stand on our roads. Though on large bumps, it does shake a bit more than usual.

The CL500 responds to the driver's actions with the pedantry of a true German. It calmly but very precisely, without unnecessary delays or hesitations... that is, I meant to say, without nose dives or body rolls, does everything asked of it. This is thanks to the active suspension ABC (Active Body Control). It also, as it turned out, has a beneficial effect on passengers' well-being. For example, I have an acquaintance who gets carsick in any car within five minutes. I have to drive extremely carefully with her (which, however, doesn't always help). When we took a ride in the CL500 (and I drove as I pleased), she only remembered after half an hour that she should have felt sick about 25 minutes ago.

What I really didn't like about the CL500 was its uncharacteristic-for-Mercedes nervousness in ruts and on uneven surfaces, especially when braking. Apparently, it's again about the tires — low-profile and very wide: 255/40 R19 in the front and 275/40 R19 in the rear. Perhaps it would have been wiser to fit more modest wheels, since the CL doesn't aspire to be a supercar. But the AMG wheels look so gorgeous... Okay, that's half the trouble; something else surprised me. A thing that goes against the car's overall expensiveness and thoughtfulness. It's... the absolutely "tasteless," unrefined sound of the turn signal indicators. Did the creators really skimp on something after all? Even the Opel Astra, which costs ten times less, has turn signals that click far more nobly.

"Is the CL500 worth its money?" — a strange question, devoid of meaning and without an answer. Honestly, it's hard for me to name a more impractical car for that kind of money. Even some supercar without a roof and trunk looks like a much more reasonable investment — it at least gives you weekly doses of adrenaline and makes no less of an impression. And the CL500... yes, it handles well, but it's nowhere near supercar behavior. It's comfortable and luxurious, but the S-Class is no worse, and getting into its back seat is easier. You can search for rational reasons to buy this car until you're blue in the face, but it's unlikely you'll find any.

But in reality, the main question is different: are you ready to buy the CL500 simply because you like it? When it comes to buying a painting or another piece of art, you are unlikely to look for practical justifications — here only aesthetic intuition works. The same logic applies to the CL500: before us is a work of art embodied in metal and glass. Every detail here is perfected. This is exactly what wins you over in this car. Not practicality, not dynamics or comfort, not even status, but precisely the impeccability of execution. And an ideal needs no justification — it is self-sufficient. Perfection for the sake of perfection itself. So you should buy the Mercedes CL500 for only one reason — if you appreciate art.

Technical specifications

Indicators	168,732.86 Euros
Number of cylinders/layout	8/V
Engine displacement, cc	5461
Maximum power, hp at rpm	388/6000
Torque, Nm at rpm	530/2800-4800
Transmission type	7G-TRONIC, automatic
Acceleration time 0–100 km/h, s	5.4
Top speed, km/h	250 (electronically limited)
Fuel consumption in urban cycle, l/100 km	18.1
Fuel consumption on highway, l/100 km	8.5
Fuel consumption in combined cycle, l/100 km	12.1
Fuel tank capacity, l	90
Curb weight, kg	1995
Permissible gross weight, kg	2510

Test car equipment

• ADAPTIVE BRAKE braking system with HOLD function and hill-start assist
• Adaptive brake lights
• Front airbags for driver and passenger
• 4 side airbags
• Window curtain airbags around the cabin perimeter
• ESP
• ABS
• ASR
• Electric windows front and rear with PRE-SAFE^® emergency closing function
• Front fog lights and rear fog lights
• PRE-SAFE^® (intelligent preventive safety system)
• Tire pressure monitoring sensor
• COMAND multimedia system with DVD navigation
• Harman Kardon LOGIC7^® audio system (Surround-sound system) Dolby Digital 5.1, DTS, 14 speakers, 600 W
• Multifunction steering wheel with heating
• Active Body Control (ABC) suspension
• Folding armrests with box front and rear
• Electric sunshade for rear window
• Aspherical side mirrors with electric adjustment and folding
• Refrigerator in rear seat backrest
• Tool kit
• Universal preparation for mobile phone installation
• Nightview night vision system
• Electric parking brake
• Automatic seven-speed sports transmission 7G-TRONIC
• Electric trunk lid drive with remote control
• Automatic dimming of interior and left side mirrors
• Bi-xenon headlights Intelligent Light System with dynamic range adjustment
• ISOFIX child seat anchors on rear row
• Automatic climate control
• Metallic paint finish
• AMG alloy wheels, 19 inches, with tires of different construction
• AMG styling package
• DVD changer
• TV tuner, digital/analog
• KEYLESS-GO system
• Memory for front seats, steering column and side mirrors
• PARKTRONIC parking assistance system
• Passion Exklusive leather upholstery
• Walnut wood trim
• On-board computer
• Dual-mode rain sensor
• Headlight washers
• Sliding/tilting glass sunroof with electric drive and PRE-SAFE^® emergency closing system for rearview mirrors
• Energy-absorbing steering column with electric adjustment and automatic position change on entry/exit EASY ENTRY
• Speedometer with segment display
• Servo-assisted door closing
• Cruise control with adjustable speed limiter SPEEDTRONIC
• Stepless door opening detents
• Multicontour front seats with electric adjustments, heating and ventilation

Test car provided by
ZAO "DaimlerChrysler Automobiles RUS".

Behind the scenes