Value system. Have marketers ruined the BMW X5?

Marketers are unlikely to grasp this paradox. Yes, BMW eventually gave in and created an SUV (the Bavarians themselves prefer the term SAV — Sport Activity Vehicle), but they did it in their own unique way — without any concessions. The Bavarians' principles are known to all — a passion for driving, power, and impeccable handling. And they delivered on them. I'll even go further — the engineers virtuously fooled everyone, turning a station wagon with a slightly raised ground clearance into something resembling an SUV. And as for the spaciousness of the cabin, off-road talents, and ride smoothness — that's secondary. What matters is that the car brings joy behind the wheel! That's exactly why it was loved. But marketers don't give up so easily. They still insisted that the new generation BMW X5 feature that unnecessary but, apparently, critically important third row of seats (which stretched the body by almost 19 centimeters). Fortunately, our test car didn't have it. So I didn't have to fold myself into a pretzel to get back there and then honestly declare that it's impossible to sit there. And that's for the best. I'll also describe the other uninteresting stuff. So, the second row is spacious, seating is comfortable, the trunk is decent, though the loading height isn't small. What else? Oh yes, the refined iDrive interface remains complex, but the glove box has gotten bigger. That's enough about that — time to get behind the wheel! Surprisingly, the engine doesn't produce a wow effect! Yes, exactly, from an engine with 355 horsepower and a 4.8-liter displacement, I expected more. Of course, with such an engine, the X5 accelerates briskly, but it doesn't meet expectations. At least the "automatic" works flawlessly — compared to the previous X5, it shifts gears twice as quickly. It's especially good in sport mode, where shift delays are minimal. In general, there's no lack of thrust in any situation, but calling it "outstanding," "furious," or "crazy" would be distorting reality. Navigation is just a disaster. Of course, it's a plus that it exists and that the route can be displayed on the windshield. But I've lost count of how many times it tried to send me "against the grain" down a one-way street or make me turn left across a double solid line or a barrier. No thanks, I'll figure out the road myself. Otherwise, it's all positive. As before, when tasked with developing a crossover, BMW's engineers made it so that it pleases primarily themselves, not focus groups or ordinary buyers. What does that mean? It means the car looks stunning and drives no worse. The huge 20-inch wheels with 275/40 R20 tires up front and 315/35 R20 at the rear completely kill the desire to leave the asphalt or park on curbs — though that's not required anyway. But what wonders this car performs in corners! You enter a turn with increasing confidence, and it doesn't flinch. Even faster: no body roll or pitching — only instant, precise reactions and a wide smile. And where's the limit? There isn't one, or what? There is, but it's somewhere beyond reality. And the Dynamic Drive active stabilizers, which perfectly suppress body roll, only enhance this feeling of unreality. And you forget that you're sitting behind the wheel of a 2300-kilogram towering beast. Only the nose-dives during hard acceleration and braking can remind you of that. But everything comes at a price. The sidewalls of the low-profile RunOnFlat tires are very stiff, matching the suspension. The low profile means you can forget about rallying on broken roads. Especially since the suspension isn't known for its energy intensity, and on bumps, the car slightly deviates from its trajectory. The X5 also dislikes ruts — the steering wheel reports each one, jerking left and right. Don't like that? Then forget about BMW forever — it's not your brand. But for me, all this is pure virtue. No, friends, the steering wheel doesn't jerk — it conveys vital information about the road surface. Besides, anyone can hold it, and on the highway, this nervousness disappears. But the main thing is that drive comes first. However, everything described above was also in the old X5. So the main surprise is that the interior has become significantly better. The front panel is styled in line with the latest Bavarian trends. The quality of materials is impeccable — soft plastic even on the door pockets, and the hard plastic is incredibly pleasant to the touch. All controls are at hand, and using them is a pleasure. The soft, thick steering wheel beckons you to give it another turn. The quirky gearshift joystick, as if taken from an Imperial stormtrooper, is magnificent. And the instruments… Have you ever seen instrument panels in an airplane? Those are instruments. And here are instruments. No painted "wells" that have become tiresome to the point of teeth grinding, but proper, laconic instruments. They don't measure pitch and altitude, but the fuel flow meter constantly maxes out. The informativeness of everything is simply boundless. The engine (which, as I said, doesn't impress) responds instantly to the gas pedal. The car follows the pedal astonishingly. The stiff suspension completely eliminates body pitching. The X5 is one of the few crossovers (if not the only one) where you don't want to lift off the throttle before a sharp turn. It provokes aggressive driving. But what happens when the excitement subsides? Fortunately, the BMW X5's seats don't squeeze the driver like a vise, the audio system plays quite decently, sound insulation is at a good level, and the "automatic" adapts and starts shifting smoothly. And in general — apart from the stiff suspension, the BMW's cabin exudes coziness and order. So you can, you can drive this car calmly too. When I skimmed through the press release describing the BMW X5's features (and it's almost 100 pages long), I felt a bit uneasy about such an amount of technology. For example, active steering not only changes the steering ratio depending on speed but also steers itself during a skid or hard braking. The number of computers and microprocessors is so large that a high-speed FlexRay bus had to be created for their communication. Honestly, it's a bit eerie to entrust yourself to this bunch of electronic know-it-alls. What if they freeze in fright at the most crucial moment? Won't ActiveSteering decide it's time for the car to go into a ditch? Won't the electronic all-wheel drive go crazy? They shouldn't. After all, millions of euros and years of work by hundreds of engineers were spent on creating, tuning, and debugging all these systems. And everything should work like clockwork. But the main value of the BMW X5 isn't in these computer gadgets. It's in the highest level of "mechanical" engineering, in the filigree chassis tuning, and in the ergonomics refined to the millimeter. Because that's the spirit of BMW. And the marketers didn't touch it.