Gifted
Does a car have a soul? Honestly, trying to find a definitive answer here is a rather presumptuous endeavor. Debates about the presence of this intangible substance in humans are still ongoing. But we, people who write about cars, know for certain: there is a spark in every car. And we're not talking about spark plugs.
but its character is complex
However, looking for it in some specific component—say, between the engine and transmission or under the dashboard plastic—is pointless. It's like trying to find traces of divine providence on a single page of an anatomy atlas.
But such a "theological" view does not at all mean that a car is a priori endowed only with virtues. It's just that, apparently, the efforts that creators put into even the most budget and mass-produced model, after leaving the assembly line, acquire their own life, endowing a pile of metal, rubber, plastic, glass, and technical fluids with an individual temperament. And temperament, as we know, can be anything: bad, heavy, unbearable, or light, bright, wonderful.
"Mini"-weekend
The MINI Cooper S has a difficult character. It's easy to find fault with this car. Take, for example, the cramped cabin with a rear bench that is practically unsuitable for carrying passengers, and the rather cheap-looking and cheap-feeling light-gray plastic used for the climate control unit on the center console, as well as the audio system's knobs and buttons.
Having criticized the German premium hot hatch, we, of course, didn't discover America—over the three years that the second-generation MINI has been on the market, both journalists and regulars of thematic forums have managed to pick it apart. But we were more interested in another question: why, despite all the listed shortcomings, does the "S" have noticeably more ardent fans than staunch opponents?
Who are these people? How do they become fans? What do they love about the MINI Cooper S? We decided to answer this from our own experience, transforming for one Sunday into owners of the anniversary "S" Mayfair, which the BMW press fleet kindly provided us.
We wanted to make this day as eventful as possible, so in the morning, in the cool, we set off to test the German "lighter" on Moscow region roads, and by noon we went to the monthly breakfast of the capital's Minipeople club, which, by happy coincidence, was scheduled at one of Moscow's cafes exactly on our test day.
I'll say right away: answers to many questions were ready within half an hour behind the wheel of the MINI Cooper S. Within about fifteen minutes, it became clear why fans adore this car, and after another quarter of an hour, an approximate psychological portrait of a typical "S" owner had formed.
We spent the rest of the time on detailed elaboration of a new model of the world, according to which all motorists on Earth are divided into three categories. The first includes those who enjoy driving the MINI Cooper S in everyday life. The second—those who would like to have (or already have) a hot "Cooper" as a second (third, fourth, and so on) car. All the rest are drivers who, for some reason (for example, due to phobias), are generally incapable of deriving pleasure from driving, no matter what the car is called.
Sado-maso
And you can really get a lot of pleasure from the little "Cooper S". The first sensation from the driver's seat is cramped, but the trio of "seat-steering wheel-pedals" is so harmonious that you forget the boundaries of your own body. Instead of controlling it, the brain switches to the car's external dimensions (fortunately, they are small: 3713 millimeters in length and 1684 millimeters in width). For this feeling, the MINI Cooper S can be forgiven both for not the most premium trim materials and for the unexpected architecture of the front panel with a huge speedometer that, for some reason, dominates the interior of all second-generation "Minis"—it is positioned so that rear passengers see it best.
"Feeling with your skin" the dimensions of a car that responds to the steering wheel with delay and leans in corners would be torture, but the well-crafted "kolobok" Cooper S, fortunately, is not like that. It is painfully stiff and sharp, but this stiffness of the sport-tuned suspension fully justifies almost kart-like control over the car. This feeling is also facilitated by a small sport steering wheel with precise effort and the car's manic mobility—it cannot "sit still" for a second.
Add to this a 184-horsepower turbocharged engine that makes the "S" literally "bite" the asphalt with its tread at the slightest press of the gas pedal—and the "psychological" portrait of the car is ready: a hot hatch with sadomasochistic tendencies. With the portrait of a potential owner, it would seem, everything is also simple. At first glance, it should be a psychopath—a fanatic of high-speed driving, a person who has difficulty controlling his aggression.
But such superficial conclusions can only be made by someone who jumped out from behind the wheel of a MINI Cooper S ten minutes after the start of the test. In reality, the "charged" German hatchback is primarily a positive, bright, and fun car with good dynamic characteristics (it accelerates to 100 km/h in seven seconds) and powerful energy. Only a driver with a similar temperament can drive this car daily. Moreover, one must be an optimist by nature to calmly "digest" the bone-crushing damper settings of the "S".
On the other hand, an asocial, embittered car owner is unlikely to be able to drive a Cooper S in city traffic jams for long. After all, he would have to control both his temperament and the spirited character of the 184-horsepower car, which rushes into battle at the slightest press of the gas pedal.
Reason for optimism
We don't want to label unfamiliar people, but from the first minutes at the Minipeople club breakfast, we got the impression that the theory about the special energy and boundless optimism of MINI Cooper S owners has grounds. Despite the early hour for a Sunday, the cafe was filled with cheerful and loudly talking people who, judging by everything, had come specifically in hot "Coopers". At least, other modifications of "Mini" were noticeably fewer in the cafe's parking lot.
Very quickly it turned out that it is the owners of the "Cooper S" who form the core of the Russian-speaking "Mini" movement, although the community itself is quite heterogeneous and resembles a cheerful vinaigrette. There are plenty of "denominations" in Minipeople: there are "retrogrades" who prefer first-generation hatchbacks of the "German Mini" launched by BMW in 2002; there are those who have departed from the classical canon and purchased a Clubman; and there are also true "Old Believers"—a couple of dozen owners of classic Minis. True, although they are in a special position in the club, they are not subjected to ostracism.
Conclusions
It's understandable that after such a bright and lively time, your hand just reaches out to join their ranks. But the main thing here is not to deceive yourself: if you have problems inside, the Cooper S won't solve them. Cheerfulness and positivity don't come with the car, no matter what badge is on the fifth door. But the "hot" Cooper is an ideal candidate for the role of a second car for "mood rides." After all, mood, unlike character, can be arranged for yourself. Auto.LentaTechnical specifications of MINI Cooper S
| Length, mm | 3714 |
| Width, mm | 1683 |
| Height, mm | 1407 |
| Wheelbase, mm | 2466 |
| Curb weight, kg | 1230 |
| Engine displacement, cm3 | 1598 |
| Power, hp/rpm | 184/5500 |
| Torque, Nm/rpm | 240/1600-5000 |
| Acceleration time from 0 to 100 km/h, s | 7.0 |
| Maximum speed, km/h | 228 |
| Fuel consumption in combined cycle, l/100 km | 5.8 |