The question was put bluntly: which SUV to take for total off-roading? We offered two polar options — the Hummer H2 and the Suzuki Jimny. Of course, the list could have been extended, but these two are true antipodes, and any other car is just a compromise between them. It remained to find out which of them is stronger in mud and sand: the heavy American "hammer" or the light Japanese "cracker".
SIX AGAINST ONE
It was this intrigue that we decided to test in a comparative test. In the GM press fleet, we were given a black Hummer H2 with an additional light "chandelier" on the roof, honestly warning that the car was not fresh and, possibly, living out its last kilometers. But the Suzuki dealers delayed their answer — they simply had no test "Jimnys".
For almost a week we struggled with the barely alive Hummer, until the guys from the suzuki-club.ru forum came to the rescue. They agreed to pit their standard SUV in the duel. A blue Jimny was driven by an owner named Mikhail, and as a support group, five more "Jimnys" with varying degrees of tuning, a lifted UAZ, and a bright Samurai with an open top, painted like a wasp, came with him.
As the guys explained, the total cost of the "iron" of their entire battered company was roughly equal to the price of one new Hummer H2.
The trophy-prepared UAZ was needed as a spare trump card — in case the "Jimnys" suddenly disgraced themselves, and the prepared Samurai acted as a scout: it went first to check dangerous places to protect the standard car from serious breakdowns. True, it remained a mystery why one of the Jimny owners brought a cased rifle with him, but everything fell into place after the test finale.
STRAIGHT TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH
According to the competition rules, the stock Jimny had to overcome the same obstacles as the completely standard Hummer H2.
The "American" has a rear differential lock and AT tires as standard. The "Jimny" has to make do with all-season tires and classic part-time. Also, the Hummer has an automatic transmission, while the Jimny has a manual. And the sand that awaited us is merciless to traction: it instantly burns clutches, just give it free rein. True, loose sand also has a weakness — it doesn't like heavy machinery, and the Hummer is a full two tons heavier than the little one.
We reached the sand quarry in a column led by the Hummer, and immediately began testing on the hillside slopes. There were several climbs with different steepness and, more importantly, different sand density. The Hummer confidently took all the peaks until we decided to complicate the task: now we had to storm the slope without acceleration, with a complete stop right in the middle of the climb. That's when the suzuki-club members joyfully shouted: "One-zero!" The Hummer stubbornly, like a bulldozer, dug into the base of the hill and inexorably slid down, since the bulk of the total 3500 kg of weight fell on the rear wheels.
AMERICAN EXPRESS
However, our little comrades rejoiced too early. The next dune was made of loose sand and had a very steep angle. Mikhail on the stock Jimny only looked at it sadly and refused to attempt it. But the brave Dan, whose "Jimny" was equipped with a trimmed front bumper, decided to try. After several unsuccessful attempts, he watched what the Hummer was capable of. The obstacle was large, and the approach to it led through a narrow sandy "canyon". "Mr. America", knocking off the edges of the narrow passage with its sides, burst into it like a locomotive into a tunnel. Then, without reducing speed, it flew to the very top, demonstrating the power of the six-liter engine, the inertia of the huge carcass, and the strength of the front protection. Only sand flew in all directions. The score became one-one.
The third round took place on a climb with a deep muddy rut.
In previous tests, two Mercedes GLs had hopelessly spun their wheels here — one with a 5.5-liter gasoline engine, the other with a 3.2-liter diesel, and these are far from the weakest cars in terms of off-road capability. While the Hummer, like a meat grinder, ground tons of mud, all the Jimnys, playfully, one after another, flew to the top, bypassing the rut to the side.
Why suffer if you can find a detour? Two-one in favor of the Jimny.
…Half a day passed. If anyone decides to repeat this experiment, it's worth taking food and something to keep yourself occupied. We kept looking for new and new obstacles, but the fight never ended. Already in the evening, Ivan Evdokimov, ex-champion of Russia in jeep trial, who was behind the wheel of the Hummer H2, was so tired that, having hung on another sandy hill, he didn't want to go down for a second attempt. And you know what he did? He cut off the top of the hill. Cyclically: roll back — gas forward — spinning, again roll back — forward — spin. This continued until the sand ran out. He simply scattered it all around with his thirty-second wheels. Following him, the "Jimnys" ran up merrily in a crowd.
I'M STILL ALIVE
At that moment, the Hummer driver gave up. He was simply worn down. And the Jimny team? They were just warming up. Even after their victory was announced, they continued to look for fords, then mud, then forest. A guy with the nickname Sprinter on a lifted car with a snorkel and MT mud tires was clearly upset by the lack of swamps. Dan on the car with the trimmed bumper had already worn off all the plastic around the perimeter but didn't even pay attention to it. Uncle Yura, who seemed to remember Lermontov, was ready to fight until dawn. And two enthusiasts on Samurais looked upset that they weren't allowed to break the frame and tear out the rear axle.
Later, the day after the test ended, it turned out why the rifle was needed. On the suzuki-club forum, I came across Dan's report on our event. He ended his post with the words: "In general, we won. I didn't even have to take out the rifle." It seems that automotive journalism off-road is not for the faint of heart.
| EXPERT OPINION Ivan Evdokimov |
I predicted the outcome of the test from the very beginning, as soon as I heard about its concept. The lighter and, accordingly, more powerful the car, the better it passes all other things being equal — this is an axiom of motorsport, valid for both "Formula-1" and trophy raids with jeep trial. Our experiment fully confirmed this: even where the "Jimnys" couldn't go head-on like the Hummer H2, they found detours — on a small car there is almost always a loophole. The only trump cards of large and heavy machinery are load capacity and the ability to tow a heavy boat or trailer. And, of course, ride comfort on broken roads — here the Hummer H2 is beyond competition!