Melancholy reigned in the gray office corridors: employees were nodding off and making up excuses to run home, until an energetic boss burst into the rooms shouting, "Wake up! Your task: by morning, produce something stunning. Surprise me — or you're fired." That's how the twelve-cylinder Audi Q7 came into being, its speedometer marked up to 310 km/h, and diesel poured into the tank. Honestly, I can't find any other explanation for how a seven-seat wagon was paired with a nuclear reactor.
Next, the project was probably sent to the marketing department to figure out who to sell it to. The frightened marketers, deciding not to take risks, proposed the usual European concept of a family SUV, albeit with outstanding specs. They were immediately fired, and the enraged boss shouted into the empty chairs: "Idiots! A family crossover with an engine bay stuffed with turbos? With a 0-100 km/h sprint in 5.5 seconds, like a sports car? And in the second row, grandma with a cake, in the third — kids with cookies, water pistols, and a pet rat?"
One of the marketers, who had hidden under the table at the start of the storm, desperately blurted out about a different audience: "Businessmen and officials. Audi is fine with executive functions." "Fool! Do you want some minister's laptop to smash through the rear window after a start from the traffic light? My secretary has more sense than you," the boss finished him off and half an hour later approved a new strategy. It consisted of two points: "Sell to Russia, they'll buy it. They buy everything!"
I SWEAT FROM THOUGHTS, NOT FROM SPEED
Everyone asks: how does it drive? What's there to ask. Of course, I myself sweat with excitement, realizing there's 1000 Nm and 500 hp here, but in the city test, the average speed came out to 20 km/h (and consumption — 20 liters per hundred). The first day I begged the heavens for an empty road without cars, traffic lights, traffic cops, and pedestrians. Not meant to be. On the second day, I resigned myself and drove on a tenth of the pedal — with such torque, you don't need more. It briskly reaches 140 km/h while you're still pressing the starter button. You haven't even buckled up — and you're already at 240 km/h when the electronic limiter kicks in. You can't feel the dynamics anywhere, but elasticity is always available. The torque plateau starts at 1750 rpm. Such an engine doesn't ask for revving. A slight press — wishes fulfilled, tasks solved.
This Audi Q7 V12 costs about 150 thousand dollars. For the same money, you can get an ML63 AMG, which accelerates to 100 km/h half a second faster. So, buying the Q7, you're not paying for speed, but, as I already said, for torque, for diesel, and (maybe it sounds funny) for moderate appetite: a petrol engine with similar dynamics burns at least thirty liters per hundred. And since we're talking about money, I would never give Audi money for the plastic interior that rattles on bumps, the low ceiling, the small trunk (where a subwoofer sits instead of a spare tire), and the far from "Mercedes-like" ride smoothness. Neither the ESP Offroad mode nor the air suspension, which raises ground clearance to 240 mm, will make me accept this.
P. S. If you see an idiot flying from traffic light to traffic light, jumping over pedestrians, or flashing high beams when you're driving in the left lane at 170 — don't get angry, it's me still trying to understand the real capabilities of the Q7 to write a more detailed technical report.
Next, the project was probably sent to the marketing department to figure out who to sell it to. The frightened marketers, deciding not to take risks, proposed the usual European concept of a family SUV, albeit with outstanding specs. They were immediately fired, and the enraged boss shouted into the empty chairs: "Idiots! A family crossover with an engine bay stuffed with turbos? With a 0-100 km/h sprint in 5.5 seconds, like a sports car? And in the second row, grandma with a cake, in the third — kids with cookies, water pistols, and a pet rat?"
One of the marketers, who had hidden under the table at the start of the storm, desperately blurted out about a different audience: "Businessmen and officials. Audi is fine with executive functions." "Fool! Do you want some minister's laptop to smash through the rear window after a start from the traffic light? My secretary has more sense than you," the boss finished him off and half an hour later approved a new strategy. It consisted of two points: "Sell to Russia, they'll buy it. They buy everything!"
I SWEAT FROM THOUGHTS, NOT FROM SPEED
Everyone asks: how does it drive? What's there to ask. Of course, I myself sweat with excitement, realizing there's 1000 Nm and 500 hp here, but in the city test, the average speed came out to 20 km/h (and consumption — 20 liters per hundred). The first day I begged the heavens for an empty road without cars, traffic lights, traffic cops, and pedestrians. Not meant to be. On the second day, I resigned myself and drove on a tenth of the pedal — with such torque, you don't need more. It briskly reaches 140 km/h while you're still pressing the starter button. You haven't even buckled up — and you're already at 240 km/h when the electronic limiter kicks in. You can't feel the dynamics anywhere, but elasticity is always available. The torque plateau starts at 1750 rpm. Such an engine doesn't ask for revving. A slight press — wishes fulfilled, tasks solved.
This Audi Q7 V12 costs about 150 thousand dollars. For the same money, you can get an ML63 AMG, which accelerates to 100 km/h half a second faster. So, buying the Q7, you're not paying for speed, but, as I already said, for torque, for diesel, and (maybe it sounds funny) for moderate appetite: a petrol engine with similar dynamics burns at least thirty liters per hundred. And since we're talking about money, I would never give Audi money for the plastic interior that rattles on bumps, the low ceiling, the small trunk (where a subwoofer sits instead of a spare tire), and the far from "Mercedes-like" ride smoothness. Neither the ESP Offroad mode nor the air suspension, which raises ground clearance to 240 mm, will make me accept this.
P. S. If you see an idiot flying from traffic light to traffic light, jumping over pedestrians, or flashing high beams when you're driving in the left lane at 170 — don't get angry, it's me still trying to understand the real capabilities of the Q7 to write a more detailed technical report.